OneUpOneDown Mentor Guide
The purpose of this document is to serve as a valuable resource for OneUpOneDown mentors, aiding them in understanding and developing their roles. It is designed to guide mentors towards becoming what we consider a great mentor.
We want to acknowledge you, the mentor, and thank you for giving your time and energy to help another individual grow. The guidance you provide, the decisions you help make, and the care you maintain towards your mentee during your three-month mentorship period have the potential to be life-changing.
In this guide we cover:
- The role of a mentor
- Guidelines and expectations
- Your first mentoring session
- Ongoing sessions
- Communication
- FAQ’s
Get the full pdf version of the mentor guide:
THE ROLE OF A MENTor
“To empower a mentee through a process of generating new experiences and action.”
Mentorship is a relationship designed to build a mentee’s confidence and support them to make decisions while taking control of their learning and development.
Mentoring differs from training, teaching and coaching. We believe a mentor doesn’t need to be an expert in their field or qualified to teach in a specific knowledge domain. They do however, need to be able to listen and ask insightful questions that challenge a mentee to identify the course of action they need to take in regards to their development.
As a mentor, your role is not to solve a mentees problems by giving them the answers. Your role is to create a space, through open and authentic conversations, where your mentee can discover new insights about themselves, the pathway they wish to take, and how to actualise these insights.
How a mentor supports a mentee is based on the needs of the mentee. It is likely that mentor-mentee sessions will require some of the following:
- Asking questions to help develop an understanding of the mentee’s situation or problem
- Active listening to be able to connect with the mentee and share your most relevant experience and knowledge
- Sharing experiences, stories and insights to offer differing perspectives, and help the mentee learn from your successes and mistakes
- Providing support and encouragement to help the mentee feel more confident in their actions
- Sharing resources to support a mentee’s continued learning outside of your mentoring sessions
- Offering connections to networks where suitable
The mentee is the driver, and the mentor is the copilot, helping them get to their destination.
- Victoria Black
“It was extremely satisfying to see just how much my mentee developed and how she's now able to make decisions using the confidence she's gained”
Kathryn George, mentor
Digital Designer | Illustrator | Motion Graphic Artist
Auckland, New Zealand
“It’s a privilege to hold space and guide others as they take charge.”
Tash Pieterse, mentor
Certified & Award Nominated Leadership Coach
Tauranga, Bay of Plenty, New Zealand
ONEUPONEDOWN MENTORING GUIDELINES
OneUpOneDown Mentorship is designed to maximise the learning experience and engagement for both mentor and mentee. Each mentor-mentee match lasts three months, providing enough time to build a trusted relationship and realise and implement new insights and actions, without losing focus and engagement.
Our mentorship operates under the following guidelines:
- Meeting frequency – Each match lasts three months. Mentors and mentees are expected to have 4×1 hour meetings throughout the three month period, twice in the first month and once each month following. If you both agree to meet more regularly, this is great. Many of our successful matches have found meeting every fortnight works well too, in order to continue to hold them accountable and keep up momentum. It is up to the mentor to let the mentee know if you are available and willing to meet more regularly.
- Location – Our mentors and mentees are based all over the world so mentoring session are run online, using your preferred video conferencing platform (e.g. Zoom or Google Meet). If you are matched with a mentee in the same city as you, you may like to connect in person for a couple of your sessions or find a balance between this and video calling.
Mentor Expectations
ONEUPONEDOWN EXPECTATIONS
We aim to provide you with the best possible mentor-mentee match, mentorship support and overall experience. To assist us in doing so, we have the following expectations for you in your role as a mentor:
- Leadership. As a mentor you are in a leadership position. This does not mean you are there to tell your mentee what to do. It means that your mentee will likely look to you for guidance and direction as to how the relationship will be established and develop. Take a proactive approach to establishing a trusted relationship with your mentee, and helping them to feel comfortable working with you.
- Communicate with us. If you find your mentee has dropped off, is missing meetings or is not as engaged as you were hoping for, we expect that you let us know. If you have general questions or would like to know how to better support a mentee, be sure to reach out.
- Show up. Mentoring can be deprioritised when other things pop up or life happens. However, you might be surprised how valuable a mentoring session is even if you are busy and have other priorities. Please respect the time and commitment that has gone into the relationship and make it a priority during the matching.
- Keep up the momentum. It’s easy to kick off a mentoring relationship with a lot of momentum then let it drop over time and
become disengaged. We expect you to do your best to stay engaged, honour your commitment and continually contribute to the relationship. We understand that life happens and you may have to pull out of a mentoring relationship temporarily, this is fine. Just please let us know!
establishing your own expectations as a mentor
As a mentor, it’s important that you feel like you are able to engage with your mentee effectively, and you feel like the purpose of you being a mentor is being served. What this usually means, is that the mentee is giving you the feedback and input required, for you to know whether you are making a difference. To help your mentee also give you what you need, you will need to be clear about your expectations.
What is it that motivates you to be a mentor?
Maybe it’s that you get to see someone else learn, grow and fulfil their potential.
Perhaps you are also working on developing your skills as a mentor and leader and want feedback from your mentee to help you continue to improve and expand your impact.
When you are clear about your own expectations, you can communicate them clearly with your mentee so you can agree on what will work for both of you and ensure you are on the same page.
Keep in mind that you are a role model for the behaviour expected within these relationships.
Here are some things to consider:
- What are your expectations for your mentee during your meetings? For example, are you okay with small talk, or do you prefer to dive into deeper topics right away?
- Do you expect your mentee to come prepared with specific topics or questions to discuss?
- Would you like your mentee to share their progress on previously discussed goals or challenges at the beginning of each session?
- What are your expectations for your mentee between sessions? What would you like them to do or provide you with? Maybe you have no specific expectations here, which is perfectly fine, but you would appreciate an update. Let them know what you expect and what you would appreciate.
- Do you expect your mentee to complete certain tasks or follow up on action items discussed during your meetings?
- Do you expect your mentee to reach out to you with any urgent questions or issues that arise between sessions?
- How do you prefer to receive feedback from your mentee? Do you want them to be open and honest about what is and isn’t working in the mentorship?
- Are there specific areas where you would like feedback to help you improve as a mentor?
By considering and communicating these expectations, you can create a more effective and mutually beneficial mentoring relationship.
A mentor is someone who allows you to see the hope inside yourself. — Oprah Winfrey
Kicking off your mentorship relationship
Once you have been matched with your mentee, you will receive an introduction email introducing you both. From here it is over to you and your mentee to organise your first meeting.
As the mentor, we suggest that you reach out to your mentee first, immediately after receiving the introduction. Remember, as a mentor you are in a leadership position, so your mentee will look to your for guidance on how your interactions will work. Your mentee may also be nervous about meeting you, because you are more experienced than they are.
When you receive your introduction email, we recommend reaching out to your mentee in a friendly and purposeful way. Let them know that you are excited to work together and share some of your own experiences that you think are relevant to them. Forming a connection before the first meeting will help you both feel more relaxed and will also help you hit the ground running when you meet. You may also consider asking the mentee some questions before the meeting to get to know them better and to understand their intentions for the mentor-mentee relationship.
Here is an example of an email you could send:
Hi [Mentee’s Name],
I hope this email finds you well. I am thrilled to be your mentor. I received the introduction email and wanted to reach out right away to introduce myself and set the stage for our mentorship journey.
A little bit about me: I have been working in [Your Industry/Field] for [X] years, and I specialise in [Your Specialty/Expertise]. I am passionate about [relevant topics or interests].
I would love to hear more about you and your goals for our mentorship. What are you hoping to achieve? Are there specific areas you would like to focus on? Your input will help me tailor our meetings to be as beneficial as possible for you.
Let’s plan our first meeting. Could you please let me know your availability over the next week or so? We can arrange a time that works for both of us.
Looking forward to working with you and supporting your growth!
Best regards,
[Your Name]
Your first meeting with your mentee
The aim of your first mentoring session is to establish the mentor-mentee relationship, clarify the direction, and set expectations for the next three months. A successful mentoring experience hinges on understanding your mentee, their priorities, what they are working towards, and any obstacles or challenges that are holding them back. This doesn’t mean that the first meeting needs to be highly structured. The purpose of the meeting is to build trust and create openness to discuss the deeper aspects of what’s going on for your mentee. This is where real change can be made.
The objectives for your first mentor-mentee session are:
- Build a relationship: Use this time to get to know each other and identify the areas where you can provide the most value to your mentee.
- Create Clarity: Agree on the frequency of meetings, preferred communication methods/platforms, your expectations and how you can work together most effectively and efficiently.
Some Questions You Could Ask Your Mentee:
- Tell me about yourself. What is your story?
- What made you decide to sign up for a mentor?
- How are you feeling in your current position?
- Do you have a vision for how you’d like your career to evolve? What is it that you’d really like to do?
- Are there any specific outcomes you hope to achieve from our mentor-mentee relationship?
- Have you had a mentor before? What worked well, and what didn’t?
- Are there any specific challenges you’re facing that I might be able to support, both personally and professionally?
- Are you comfortable discussing a wide range of topics (both personal and professional), or would you prefer to focus on a particular area?
Building Trust and Authenticity
The mentee will likely be looking to you to set the tone for your relationship. To create a relationship that is open, where your mentee feels comfortable sharing their challenges, consider sharing more about yourself, your experiences and your own challenges. This helps build trust and demonstrates authenticity.
Here are some example statements and questions you might use:
- “When I started my career in [field/industry], I faced challenges such as [specific challenge]. This experience taught me [lesson]. Have you encountered anything similar?”
- “I remember when I was in a [relevant position similar to the experience of the mentee], I felt [emotion]. One thing that helped me was [strategy/action].”
- “In my current role as [position], I focus on [specific tasks/responsibilities]. This has given me insights into [relevant area]. How does this compare to your experience?”
- “A pivotal moment in my career was when I [specific event/achievement]. It changed my perspective on [relevant topic]. What are some key moments that have shaped your career?”
- “One of the biggest challenges I’ve faced was [specific challenge]. It taught me [lesson or skill]. How do you usually handle challenges in your work?”
- Is there anything else you can share to help me be an effective mentor for you?
ON-GOING Mentoring SESSIONS
No two mentoring sessions will be the same, and it’s essential to find a structure that works best for you and your mentee. Achieving the following outcomes will ensure successful sessions:
Create a Safe Space for Honest Sharing
A great mentor creates an environment where the mentee feels comfortable sharing their honest thoughts, opinions, and concerns. This openness helps mentees become aware of the areas where they need support and identify how they can develop themselves.
How to Achieve This: Actively listen to build trust, ask open-ended questions to fully understand the mentee’s situation, and meet them where they are on their journey. Offer advice or guidance only after doing these things.
Uncover Opportunities for Growth
Mentors help mentees see beyond their current knowledge and perspectives, identifying areas for development and new opportunities. By pointing out blind spots and offering insights, you can help your mentee improve and find effective solutions.
How to Achieve This: Be curious and use questions as a way to help your mentee find realised new insights and opportunities for growth. You can offer observations and suggestions to help guide your mentee, once you feel like you have a good understanding of what’s really going on for you mentee. “Can you tell me more about that” is a great question to dive into areas that you feel require deeper exploration.
Help Your Mentee Gain Clarity and Direction
As my mentor once said, “Clarity is the lack of drama”. Through discussion and exploration of their current situation, you can help your mentee to navigate through the drama and emotions of a situation, to assess their needs more clearly. Once clarity is achieved, it is much easier to make decisions about what comes next, and to take action.
How to Achieve This: Again, this comes back to asking questions. The practice of mentorship is very much about asking good questions. Asking good questions requires good listening. Listen to identify areas where your mentee does not have clarity, and then ask questions that create space for new thoughts, ideas and realisations that will help bring more clarity to the situation at hand.
Seek and Provide Feedback
It can be challenging to gauge your effectiveness as a mentor and whether your mentee is benefiting from the sessions. Often we find the mentee is benefitting much more than the mentor assumes. The simple solution is to ask for feedback. This helps you reflect on the session’s effectiveness and track your mentee’s progress.
Here are some questions to ask for Feedback:
- How are you feeling after our session today
- Was our session today helpful?
- Is there anything we didn’t cover that you’d like to focus on next time?
- How did you get on with the actions we discussed last time?
- Are there any ways I can better support you during this session?
- Have you had any interesting observations or realizations since our last session?
- Is there something specific you’d like to talk about today?
A mentor empowers a person to see a possible future, and believe it can be obtained - Shawn Hitchcock
effective communication with your mentee
A person’s ability to communicate and the way in which they do so can impact a mentor-mentee relationship. We’ve found that some matches where mentees and mentors have different communication styles, it can be harder for them to form and maintain a connection. Mentors can often be left feeling as though they’ve been ineffective as a mentor, and mentees as though they couldn’t relate to their mentor. In our initial survey, we ask both mentors and mentees to select one or multiple communication styles they feel suits them best, so we can factor this in when finding a suitable match. It’s important to recognise that while we try our best to make great matches, they may not always align and that could be the reason a mentorship doesn’t work, not because your mentor has been ineffective.
If you find that you’re not able to connect with your mentee immediately, or recognise that your mentee has a different communication style than you, try:
1. Asking your mentee how they would like you to communicate with them.
2. Understanding which communication style and/or personality type your mentor is, so you can better understand their thought patterns and/or how they like to give and receive information. For example, if your mentee is direct with their communication, it is likely they are outcome focused and like to understand the purpose of a given topic rather than the small details associated with it.
3. Observing your mentee’s body language. Do they get uncomfortable or look disengaged when you communicate in various ways? Or do they get animated and excited when you communicate a certain way? This should help you understand which style and/or method of communication they prefer.
mentor faq'S
How much time should I commit to working with my mentee?
Under the One Up One Down mentorship structure, the time commitment as a mentor is four 1-hour sessions over a 3-month period: twice in the first month and once per month thereafter. You are not required to commit any more time than this.
If you’d like to meet with your mentee more regularly, that’s great. Many of our matches find that meeting fortnightly helps maintain momentum and creates a higher level of accountability.
We understand that we’re busy women, and fitting in a mentoring session every fortnight may not be realistic or suitable for everyone. It’s best to decide what is manageable for you, knowing that you are not expected to commit more time than the four 1-hour sessions over three months.
If you are willing to meet more regularly, we recommend letting your mentee know, as mentees are often conscious of your time and may hesitate to ask for more frequent meetings.
onCE i'VE BEEN MATCHED, WHO SHOULD INITIATE THE OUTREACH?
Once both you and your mentee have accepted the match, you will be introduced to each other to arrange your first session.
We recommend that as the mentor, you reach out to your mentee to arrange the first meeting. Once you have decided the time, make sure one of you send a calendar invite and video conference link.
What if I don’t hear from my mentee after our session?
If you don’t hear from your mentee after a session, please don’t assume it’s because they didn’t find value in it. The lack of communication may be because your mentee is conscious of your time and doesn’t want to feel like they are bothering you for the next session.
A mentor-mentee relationship needs to be driven by both parties. We recommend you follow up with your mentee to check in and arrange a time for the next session if you didn’t do so at the end of your previous session.
If you still haven’t heard from your mentee after following up, please let us know. We’ll get in touch with them and find an appropriate solution.
What if my mentee stops responding to my communication?
If your mentee has stopped responding to your communication, please let us know so we can help manage the situation. We want to ensure that mentees are respecting and valuing your time, and we can only take action if we are informed of the issue.
For more FAQs please visit: our Knowledge Base: https://oneuponedown.org/knowledge-base/